


Good Luck (You're Gonna Need It)

by donniedont



Series: Queer Punk Rock AU [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Punk, Inspired by Music, M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 19:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1316191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donniedont/pseuds/donniedont
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of those music shuffle challenges set to an AU in which Jean and Armin are punks in love that break up sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Luck (You're Gonna Need It)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my attempt at the shuffle exercise that was floating around a few months ago. The basic idea of it is that you listen to songs on shuffle and write short ficlets based on the songs that come up.
> 
> This is set to a preexisting AU that I am working up to putting up on AO3. For now it only exists in text posts on my Tumblr, which you can check out [here](http://gandalfexmachina.tumblr.com/tagged/queer-punk-rock-au). Right now, here's my first attempt at working on the Jean/Armin angle of it.
> 
> For reference, both these characters are poly. Jean is a queer cis man and Armin is dfab non-binary and uses he/his pronouns. Please enjoy!

**“I Wanna Hold Your Hand” (Across the Universe Cover)**

There was this fantasy Jean has that everything will go exactly how he wants with Armin.  They would go out on dates and hold their hands with fingers laced as they wandered through the park.  

 

But the longer he gets caught in this web of whatever Armin refers to it as (because it’s always been Armin’s web, Armin’s world, Armin’s grasp of whatever concept, because Armin deserves the world, even though the world constantly tries to screw him out of it), he realizes that fantasy is not obtainable.  Armin doesn’t go on dates.  Maybe it’s the result of dating your best friend since sophomore year of high school, but he doesn’t.  He’ll shut down and not want to be touched for hours on end.

 

But sometimes they walk in the park.  And sometimes Jean will turn his head and the sun will hit Armin’s hair just so and he realizes that whatever this is, it’s worth it.

 

*

 

**“Baby, It’s Fact” by Hellogoodbye**

Armin opens up the door and shuts his eyes, nervous to hear Jean’s response.

 

“You look…” Jean starts, and he really doesn’t want to hear it.  He can only assume what he’s going to say will be an insincere compliment.  “...amazing.”

 

Armin opened his eyes, shocked at how much affection Jean could put into one word.  He couldn’t remember the last time he wore the dress.  But it seemed that Jean appreciated this moment.  In fact, Jean leaned in and asked, “Can I?” his hands hovering over his sides.

 

“Ah, yeah?” Armin asked, not sure what he was going to do.

 

Jean grabbed him and pulled him close, hugging him tightly.  “You look absolutely beautiful, oh my _God_.”

 

Armin curled up into him, cupping his butt just light enough that he hoped Jean didn’t notice.

 

When Jean purred he knew it wasn’t subtle at all, but he really didn’t care.

 

*

 

**“Dogs” by Nina Nastasia**

 

Armin is smiling and Jean doesn’t know what to do about it.  He’s having a high of some kind that is rare, but it happens.  It just doesn’t usually happen when they’re in the rain and trying to get back from the dining hall.

 

Armin’s also laughing, which is strange to hear, as well.  He’s trying to push his bangs out of his face as he attempts to grab Jean’s hands, his own too wet to really catch them.

 

They make it to the apartment and Jean’s glad, nearly dropping the key.  He tries to catch it and Armin is banging on his side, trying to swallow back his giggling.

 

Jean tosses his arm across Armin as he opens up the door, allowing themselves to spill into the apartment together.

 

*

 

**“It’s not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Must Be in Love” by Fall Out Boy**

 

Armin sat down at the table, noticing that there was already a place set up for him.  He turned around and saw Jean tinkering around at the stove.  

 

“What’re you up to?” Armin asked.

 

“Cooking!” Jean exclaimed.

 

“How horrifying.”

 

“Sasha told me that you hadn’t eaten yet, but she didn’t have enough time to make you anything.  So here I am.”

 

Armin slid out of the chair and walked over to him, leaning against his shoulder as he watched Jean stir macaroni in boiled water.  “What’s happening?” he asked.

 

“Just some macaroni and pre-made pesto sauce.  Nothing fancy.  Figured you were too hungry for me to do anything too complicated.”

 

Armin smiled and pulled him close, kissing him on the lips.  He wasn’t going to tell him he was right.

 

*

 

**“Sweet November” by Tegan and Sara**

“You can’t run away like this!” Jean exclaimed, stomping on the shattered glass from last night’s frat parties.

 

“Watch me!” Armin screamed, unafraid that a dog walker turned their head at them.

 

Jean charged forward, grabbing his shoulder.  “I don’t think you’re broken!”

 

“Then why the fuck will you stop trying to help me?”

 

Jean opened his mouth for a moment, no sound coming out.  He finally took a deep breath and said, “Because I want to do things that make you feel good.”

 

“You babying me sure as shit doesn’t make me feel good!” Armin screamed, tears in his eyes.  “I know I’m messed up, but I know what to do to survive by now.  Just… if this is going to work, you need to just fucking let me go sometimes.”

 

“That’s fine, but I’m not really here for watching you go off the rails.”

 

“And why not?”

 

Jean gnashed his teeth.  “Because I love you.  And sorry if I overstep my bounds with stuff.  I need to work on it.  But… fine.  I’ll go.”  He turned around, hoping Armin would grab him and make him stay.

 

He did.

 

*

 

**“Dishes” (cover) by Jeff Rosenstock**

 

Jean felt like he was hung over when he wakes up, most likely a result of crying himself to sleep.  It felt weird being able to say that he was outright rejected by Marco.  He wasn’t angry, either.  It made perfect sense.  The timing wasn’t right.  It was never going to be right.  He just had to accept it.

 

He sat up, realizing that Connie was gone.  He got out of the room and noticed Armin sitting at the door, playing with his phone.

 

“What are you doing?” Jean asked.

 

“Waiting for you to wake up,” Armin replied.

 

“And why’s that?” Jean asked.

 

“Because news traveled fast.”  He didn’t even stop to look up at him, choosing to focus on the game he was in the process of playing.

 

“What do you think about it?”  
  
“I think… you deserve to know that you are a pretty great guy.  And if things will work out, they will.  But if you want to just hang out with me right here, you can.  And we can just talk.”

 

Jean slumped down next to him and leaned against him.  “It fucking hurts.”

 

“I know.  And it can hurt a little less when we come up with a plan.”

 

*

 

**Your New Twin Size Bed, by Death Cab for Cutie**

 

It feels weird making out with someone and proceeding to not share a bed with them, even if they’re in the same room.  But there Armin is, curled up in the empty bed on the other wide, flopped over and facing the wall.

 

Jean cranes his neck, watching the way that he hugged the pillow in his arms.  He hates how quickly his heart latched onto people, but it was inevitable with Armin.  He likes good music and has purple hair.  He likes Bomb the Music Industry!, even if he preferred their newer albums.  Not to mention, he is a good kisser.

 

But there is something off limits about him that he can't quite articulate.  Maybe it's the way his eyes will stare into him without caring if it made him uncomfortable.  Or the fact that he had patches on his vest screaming cis men like himself.  It could also be the fact that his other partner is notorious for beating the shit out of anyone who tries to give Armin shit.  

 

And yet there he is, smitten.

 

*

 

**Sleepyhead by Passion Pit**

 

They don’t mean to lock Connie and Marco out of the room, but it happens.  They don’t even know why it does.  One minute they’re on the couch shimmying to music together, then they’re kissing each other and nearly falling on Annie before they realize the consequences of those actions, and they’re in Jean, Connie, and Marco’s room, locking out two out of the three people who live in it as they give each other oral.

 

Armin is splayed across the bed, his back arching as Jean is trailing kisses down his stomach and toward his hips.  He tangles his hair in the dyed parts of Jean's hair, panting softly before pulling Jean by the shoulders against him.  

 

Jean doesn't say anything, but sigh softly as their bodies fit together. They finally stop adjusting and fall asleep, hoping they will wake up in time for Connie and Marco to be able to go to bed.

 

*

 

**The End of the World by The Cure**

 

Armin does this thing where he “breaks up” with Jean.  He doesn’t say that they’re separating.  He just begins to remove the stray pieces of clothing that are his out of Jean’s room and disappears for a couple hours.

 

Jean doesn’t get it at first.  The initial two or three times it happens, he’s angry.  Then he realizes that he just needs to be there and wait for when Armin decides that he doesn’t mean it and he’s back in Jean’s room taking off his hoodie and tossing it into the corner.

 

“I’m sorry…” Armin starts sometimes, “I know you’re doing your best it’s just… sometimes I can’t deal with people for awhile.”  
  
“That’s fine,” Jean replies, “Just… are you being safe when you leave?”

Armin just smiles in a way that’s almost horrifying.  The light catches under his eyes and he looks like he hasn’t slept in the nineteen years he’s been alive.

 

Jean doesn’t allow himself to falter as he rubs Armin’s shoulder and waits for Armin to curl up against him and burrow his head into the space against his chest that his head fits perfectly.

 

And Jean realizes that loving him isn’t something that’s going to stop anytime soon.  He just hopes that Armin would accept the fact that he probably felt the same way, too.

 

*

 

**Waiting by Green Day**

 

Armin doesn’t mean to plan out when he drops the whole “I love you” thing, but he does.  He doesn’t remember when he exactly said it to Eren, so he tries to make up for it with his other partners.  

 

It happens at a show in their basement.  He’s trying to collect money from people, which always leads to a bunch of people being resistent and claiming they’ll get back to him later (which they never do).  So Jean starts lurking behind him, sizing himself up in a way that he almost looks much taller than he actually is.

 

Eventually, people are fumbling through their pockets and giving Armin money.  He grins, shaking the container around at Jean.  “I think we can actually pay for some breakfast for the musicians now!” he exclaimed.

 

“Thank fuck,” Jean replies.

 

“Thank _you_ , actually.  So much.  I love you.”  

 

Jean stared at him, his face nothing short of dumbfounded.  “Huh?” he asked.

 

Armin tilted his head.  “Uh, what?”  
  
“What did you say?”

 

“I… love you.  I love you.  This was supposed to be special, Jean!” Armin exclaimed, realizing that the moment was ruined.

 

Jean laughed, grabbing him close.  “It’s still special!” he exclaimed, “I promise.”

 

 


End file.
